Overcoming Rejection – Dying to Self

By Deborah Bell

(Lead Apostle DGAN Global Network and DGFC churches)

This is not the full teaching I do on Rejection, but here are some ‘starters’ for you to chew


This teaching is full of gems if you will activate the healing from rejection in your life.

I’ve have spent many years in our ministry helping people deal with rejection in their lives.

It’s a big part of our ministry, people need emotional healing just as much, sometimes

more, than physical healing.

I want to be clear from the outset that I am not a Psychologist nor am I trying to bring this

teaching from that aspect, although some things may overlap. The perspective I’m coming from, is from a spiritual counselling & spiritual healing perspective, combined with my experience in leading ministries & helping leaders & others breakthrough in these areas as believers, over the past 30 years.

It is my hope that after reading this, if you are struggling with rejection, that you reach out

to your leaders or overseers for help and prayer and healing. Rejection is not only self

destructive but it destroys relationships around us, if we don’t deal with it and ‘pluck out’

the roots of it.

Rejection is one of the most destructive roots because it not only affects all of us in some

way; but because it can be so deeply rooted in people’s lives, that they don’t necessarily

have awareness that it’s the cause of outward symptoms and reactions they might have.

Or, people may not want to ‘go there’ in case of further rejection, which perpetuates the

cycle even further. Fear of dealing with the very thing that has them in chains, is why it can be so blinding, and that is why the door to healing is often closed, even to God.

The Scripture teaches us in Isaiah 61:1-3, that God gives us beauty for ashes, healing

instead of brokenness, freedom instead of captivity and restoration instead of destruction.

Original Intent

Rejection has never been God’s plan for our lives. We have all been created with the

original intention to flourish and prosper in all our ways, that is God’s desire for us. We live

as new creations in the fullness of Christ, through his Spirit as believers.

But this requires something on our part, and that is that we are willing to surrender the old self fully, so that we can release to God, the old in our lives, the stuff that has caused

rejection, torment and emotional trauma.

In other words, we have to be ready to ‘die’ to self’ and walk through some doors we’ve

held tightly shut, because of the pain they remind us of, and know that as we walk through them, that there is victory on the other side!


Because when you stop dying to self, you stop changing. The apostolic prophetic church is all about transformation. For us it’s the reason we are here as a Network and church, to set the captives free from the bondage of emotional oppression and lead people into victory through the power of Holy Spirit so that people can live their lives as overcomers and touch the world the same way! That’s what the power of the cross and resurrection of

Jesus is all about, so that we don’t stay the same! We don’t need Jesus if we want to stay

the same.

Dying to self, is recognizing we need God and change in our lives through God’s power,

Holy Spirit & word, as well as through the seasoned, women & men that God puts into our

lives to mentor & help to guide us, like the banks of a river guide the water. When we die to self, we die to selfishness & every oppression that comes from the old flesh, because dying to self is full surrender to God!

Mark 8:34

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

“The spirit of rejection forms a stronghold in the mind distorting our perceptions…” – Apostle Deborah Bell

Fact: Everyone experiences some form of rejection in their life, whether they aware of it or not. The question is whether or not we are prepared to recognize it and get healing as it’s brought to light.

Often people don’t even realize how much they are in need of healing until they are

exposed to teaching and mentoring on this.

Same old same old, brings no change

Doing things the same way we’ve always done, we know gives the same results, it’s an

unending cycle. The only way to change is to become more like Jesus and we do that

through Holy Spirit’s power living inside of us.

We have to die to self!

The ‘self’ in Mark 8:34, is the flesh. It’s referring to the ‘old self’, the parts of us that don’t

have place in our lives anymore, in our soul (mind will emotions) or physical body. They

belong to the person that was B.C.(before Christ)! Ego belongs to the old self, it is not part

of the new creation

Ego belongs to the old self, it is not part of the new creation

When we find that we are so preoccupied with ourselves, talking about our own

accomplishments or defeats, or constantly making the ‘story’ about us, our ego and flesh

are still at play. It’s selfish behaviour. Selfish behaviour comes from many areas, one of the

roots can be rejection.

To understand why we do some of the things we do, let’s look at some of the signs of


Summary of 3 responses found in dealing with rejection:

(I’ll deal with these under reactions to rejection a bit later in this teaching)

1. An aggressive response often comes in the form of rebellion or anger. Very often such

people will appear to be extroverts. Their behaviour will often be manifest as

rebelliousness, & sexual promiscuity (which can be seen by them as a form of ‘love’, even

though it is a